LAUREN
HOLGUIN
Lauren Holguin is a Mexican-American educator and multi-genre writer of stories from Los Angeles, CA. She writes English Language Arts curriculum for New Jersey and Miami schools, and is an assistant poetry editor for Barrelhouse magazine. Lauren has a Masters in Special Education and has taught fourth grade in Camden, NJ for over six years. Her work has been featured recently in zines via Philadelphia collective Blue Stoop at the Philadelphia Contemporary and recorded through Live! At Kelly Writers’ House with WXPN. She is currently working on a novel and full length multimedia poetry collection. Find her on Instagram: l_e_holguin and Twitter : @lholguin8
BREAKING GROUND AT 7th AND CLINTON
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TRAUMA
A deeply distressing or disturbing experience
is a pillow in your face.
Trauma is grazing your face
Trauma is silent
Trauma can’t stay silent
Trauma is saying ignore the distraction
ignore the distraction
ignore the distraction
Trauma contradicts itself therefore it contradicts itself
Trauma is also screaming and banging something
metal and hard in the next room
Trauma is screaming and saying
Nobody in the world loves me in the next room
slipping notes under a locked door that say Help Me
asking if you think about killing yourself
Trauma is saying ignore the distraction
It’s all a distraction
We don’t need this distraction
Trauma is saying don’t see it, don’t look at it, don’t hear it
Trauma is calling a human an IT
advising Turn off all of your senses and betray them—focus on
learning, follow directions, do what you are told
pretend Trauma doesn’t exist so it won’t see you and talk to you and reach for you.
Maybe, it’ll never put a finger on you.
SLIDE
There are no places in the neighborhood where little ones
effectively safely learn how to slide
No snow last year means no sledding
to practice sitting and falling
on cold matter
No parks without drugs and guns
so they don’t slide
At school, the little ones line up and take turns sitting at the top
and looking down—grasping the edge
A teacher yells
Just let go!
The kids watching are scared, the brave kid at the top, sweaty palms
does not know what it’s like to see someone fall safely
does not know the rush of fun, letting go
knowing you will fall
get back up
and have chance after chance after chance to do it again
HERE ING
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MZ. HOAGIE WALKS TO WORK IN CAMDEN, NJ
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FEMALE (\ fə-ˈmä-lē ) LOVES ESPO (Exterior Surface Painting Outreach)
If you were here I'd be home by now. — mural by Stephen Powers, AKA "ESPO"
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