Mercury-Marvin Sunderland (he/him) is a transgender autistic gay man with borderline personality disorder. He's been published by University of Amsterdam's Writer's Block, University of British Columbia's Decomp, UC Davis' Open Ceilings, UC Riverside's Santa Ana River Review, and UC Santa Barbara's Spectrum.
OTTER (OT.TER)
[NOUN]
1.
an aquatic mammal of the weasel family
2.
a gay man who bears characteristics of both bears and twinks
.
an otter
holds a starfish
a crustacean
a sea urchin
in his hands
as he floats
on the water’s surface.
he twists & spins
chewing what
he has to give
empty shells
fall to the bottom below
he swims
head first
backwards
he is graceful
& carefree
how does
he do it
so easily fur
shining slick
& he dives deep.
THESE SNAKES DON'T BITE
reach out
& touch
feel the quivering scaled bodies
wrap around your fingers
these snakes
don’t bite.
only squeeze
venom clings to your jawline
as you manage for a meaning
your teeth
are only
so strong
suddenly
bones break
you screech
& from your mouth
hail thousands
of mice.
snakes swallow
your fingers
wrap loosely around the
stumps
& leave for the
scattering rodents
these snakes
don’t bite.
(WHEN YOU FINALLY ENTER THE PSYCH WARD)
you say
i haven’t slept in three days
& they take your
heart rate
(so this is what it’s really like)
see hallucinations
held up in that room tonight
there is nothing
but you
a mattress
& disposable masks
(you may double the masks as sleep masks)
eat just barely
your nausea
will betray you slowly
(that man screams)
he shouts outside the door
& you huddle in your room
in fear
(there is nothing)
strap you to
the stretcher
it is morning somehow
& your mirrored reflection
stares at you
from the ambulance ceiling
(can you tell me your name)
how did it all happen
suddenly you are
bumpy socks
on your psych ward room
there is no one
but you
two windows
two mattresses
an empty bookcase
empty sink with a small mirror
& a padded small bathroom
(would you like a roommate)
you ask
do you have any other autistic trans people
grip pencils upon paper
your hands quake
you ask
can i take a shower
barely keep yourself standing
upon tile floors
you bleed again
you have not had your period
in many years
the stress on your body
just too much
you can hear the other’s screams
(his head exploded)
(he just kept stabbing & stabbing)
three days
until release
(when you finally enter the psych ward)
you say
i haven’t slept in three days
& they take your
heart rate
(so this is what it’s really like)
see hallucinations
held up in that room tonight.
OCTOPUS
spreads all
eight tentacles
color changing hues
for the world to see
doesn't he
cling easily
octopus is praised
for his ability to preserve
to cling to the surface
with each mighty sucker
he is
the scourge of
deep sea night
no bones
hides himself easily
inside a glass jar
to be lost & forgotten
no skeleton
will be left
only memories
upon seashells
ink remains
on mistakes
octopus
spreads all
eight tentacles
color changing hues
for the world to see.